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If he were a dog, he’d be a labrador, jumping on your lap and licking your face. He smiles enough to make you think that he’s winning an Oscar every second of his life. Isaacbasically makes the rest of us bartenders look like a bunch of pricks. Cheech and Steve Buscemiget involved in a conversation that includes an entertaining, if not drawn out joke, from Buscemias well as his witnessingthe Mariachi’smurderous rampage at a previous bar.Ĭheech, who at first regards Buscemi’s character with the same respect as a cockroach, suddenly gets very interested. This is one of my favorite bartender scenes ever and my second favorite role by Cheechsince he and Chong did Things are Tough All Over. #7 Cheech Marin as the Short Bartender in Desperado
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Georgie is a pee-on and doesn’t really represent us very well as bartenders, but he is on one of the most popular series of all time, so he makes the list. Though not quite as dimwitted, Georgie is amiable and harmless but the mis-timed comments that come out of his mouth are a trigger for Tony to beat the tar out of him with nearby objects: phones, ice trays, cash registers, chains, you name it. Georgieis the mafia’s personal bartender at the Bada Bing and could be the older brother of Lenny from Of Mice and Men. #8 Frank Santorelli as Georgie the Bartender in The Sopranos There’s little doubt in my mind that Lloydcould reach over the bar and separate your chest plate to extract your heart anytime he wants to (shiver).
There’s something about calm people that scare the shit out of me, because it always seems like they know something that I don’t, something dreadfully bad that has to do with me. He is flat out SHUDDERSOME! That deadpan face and his calm, polite replies are dead giveaways to a dark satanic power you don’t want to fuck with. I gotta be honest, if I was forced to choose who to go one-on-one with in a dark closet, I’d take on Razor Charlie the vampire any day before I mess with Lloyd. Ron: “What? Were you saying something? Look, I don’t speak Spanish.”
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And you’re gonna have to learn how to deal with that.” Trejowas also the bartender in one of my other favorites, Anchorman, which must also be mentioned simply because it’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie:
Not a big role, but anytime a bartenderturns into a vampire, you have to put him in the top ten list or he might climb through my window at 4:00 a.m. #10Danny Trejo asRazor Charlie in From Dusk Till Dawn
Those characters only had sex to procreate and I’m not having it. At the end, I would love to hear your opinions, but please don’t tell me that Jackie Gleason or the guy from A Wonderful Lifebelong on this list or I will have to bang my head on my keyboard for the next six hours.
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These are bartenders, for Christ’s sake!Įven so, after 18 hours of deliberation and shaking my head in disgust, here is my list for greatest television and movie bartenders of all time.
Of the ten listed, only two of them show any evidence of ever getting laid. What I found disappointed the shit out of me. Someone emailed me the other day and asked me who I thought the greatest Hollywood bartenderof all time was, and seeing as Ihave chosen to unearth and report all things bar-relatedin the industry (and perhaps occasionally outside the industry), I decided to do better than simply name the single greatest silver screen bartender, and rank, categorize and index the greatest ten.
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